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there is no name in my mind

Hey,it’s been a long time since i’ve written so if you wanna know what’s up,there is nothing new..a lot of events around me that look like each others

-i’ve started buying eidul fitr’s clothes (a feast for muslims after ramadan) since a week,as usual i was embarrassed because of my size but i can say that i’m used to this now..in one of the shops a girl told me that i’ve to lose weight i replied with pride “i like my body” but inside there was so much anger but i really try t l0se weight but i can’t control inshaallah one day i’ll lose weight, i seriously want to turn to the girl who i’ve always dreamed about

-Today i had a fight with my friend for a petty reason because of her curiosity,she is so curious she always makes me remember the detectives “i’m really not joking” and i fed up with her ,the fight was because she tagged me in a photo in fb and i deleted it from my profile because in that day i was tagged in a lot of photos and i deleted them all,doesn’t she make you remember the kids ? she started to do things to provoke me but i received this with laughs  like commenting in the photo “there is someone who doesn’t deserve to be tagged and to be from my friends” the photo was about friends..i think that i’ll struggle a lot at the school days because she is like those girls who like provoking and throwing words “an Egyptian expression”

-i’m so sad because these days i’m not near to allah i hoped to be nearer to allah especially because we are in Ramadan…it is a real chance to make allah forgive me

-i fought a lot with my mum the last week but yesterday we agreed that she won’t shout and she will discuss everything with me(i hope so)

-Now there is nobody who is really near to me,there is no friend,my sisters are not so near to me because they are younger than me ,me and my mum don’t agree about the same thing and there is no crush to think about ^_^

-the cousin of the one who i like i mean zayn malik 😀 and his sisters said that he doesn’t fast this ramadan i was shocked of course i doubted about this but to know that what you doubt about is true hurts a lot,he puts tattoos ,drink, doesn’t fast to pray,has a girl friend..etc i thought that he would show the people that muslims are not terrorists i hoped this,these days he looks like the people who drink weed i’m so sad and he lost a lot of my respection to him but i’ll still pray for him

-you may think that i’m a bleak person but i share all what i don’t share with anyone to you i mean for the people who don’t read,yup i know that noone reads this but it is a way to express myself

i think a lot of the problems around me are from losing my confidence..i really wanna get this back..someday i’ll (a word which i always tell to myself)

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