Before i die

Before i die i want to do a lot of things..they are crazy and this is noprmal because i’m crazy lol XD

*every time i walk in the rain i feel shy to dance and sing*

aww i want to meet one direction and to be honest want to get a hug from zayn ūüėÄ

i always think about asking the driver to do this while being on the taxi

yes, i want to do this..i always think about asking the driver to do this while being in a taxi

Mecca is one of the places that i really want to visit,i want it to be the first place to travel abroad to

yes..i’m looking for a best friend in my real life all my recent best friends are just internet ones

Deeeeeeeeemi..i think that i will actually faint just to know that i’ll meet her

I want it to be the best wedding ever

in fact i have been trying to change anybody’s life for a long time but i didn’t work out so far

‚̧ ‚̧

i want to get an amazing wedding dress for sure while being skinny

i tried to do this but it was boring

zaaayn..my future husband ūüėÄ


although i think that the Egyptian food is the best ever

my hair these days really suck


this is enough guyz



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new days

i’ve met my friends,we started taking remedial course,at the beginning i was annoyed because i have to go out a lot and i haven’t got a best friend,at they ignore what i say and don’t feel that i’m with them

but i see that there is nothing to do but being happy and hide the embarrassment of my body i tried but while turning back to my home i was bullied someone on the street insulted me and told me that i’m fat i just ran to my mum in her work and cried in front of people,when i calmed down i told mum that i need a diet doctor and i went to him,and he encouraged me and told me that i don’t have to care he made me feel more comfortable..i’ll try to go on

minutes ago i chatted with my friend on facebook and i told her that i was depressed and frustrated and i’m almost still..she said that she forgot that..

i’ll try to make our ties better “i mean me and my friends” to be able to go out
,i’m just afraid if they think that i’m hypocrite…

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Unexpected surprise!!

I actually have got a ghost..you don’t believe? math is my ghost

the reason is that my math teacher always depresses me..i really hate it

i don’t think that i have got a genius mind,i realize this..today i got a surprise which is that my math teacher is going to travel to work in another country

when my friend told me i was like O_O,the years of oppression and hating everything related to maths and even hating the word “math” itself have ended (8 years)

i can’t deny that i was a little bit sad at the beginning because anyway i know him for a long time

the school status:all students are¬† sad “they consider him as their father” yep,it seems that i’m the only one that hates him

the question now is who will teach me? i really hate all the other math teachers not because they are math teachers ,each one of them has something which makes me hate him

i don’t really know how it will be..i’ll leave things work by themselves “this means that i expect anything and i won’t be annoyed,now i’m used to being shocked”

is that real?he has gone? i won’t see him again?nobody will make me cry a lot?

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there is no name in my mind

Hey,it’s been a long time since i’ve written so if you wanna know what’s up,there is nothing new..a lot of events around me that look like each others

-i’ve started buying eidul fitr’s clothes (a feast for muslims after ramadan) since a week,as usual i was embarrassed because of my size but i can say that i’m used to this now..in one of the shops a girl told me that i’ve to lose weight i replied with pride “i like my body” but inside there was so much anger but i really try t l0se weight but i can’t control inshaallah one day i’ll lose weight, i seriously want to turn to the girl who i’ve always dreamed about

-Today i had a fight with my friend for a petty reason because of her¬†curiosity,she is so curious she always makes me remember the detectives “i’m really not joking” and i fed up with her ,the fight was because she tagged me in a photo in fb and i deleted it from my profile because in that day i was tagged in a lot of photos and i deleted them all,doesn’t she make you remember the kids ? she started to do things to provoke me but i¬†received¬†this with laughs ¬†like commenting in the photo “there is someone who doesn’t deserve to be tagged and to be from my friends” the photo was about friends..i think that i’ll struggle a lot at the school days because she is like those girls who like provoking and throwing words “an Egyptian expression”

-i’m so sad because these days i’m not near to allah i hoped to be nearer to allah especially because we are in Ramadan…it is a real chance to make allah forgive me

-i fought a lot with my mum the last week but yesterday we agreed that she won’t shout and she will discuss everything with me(i hope so)

-Now there is nobody who is really near to me,there is no friend,my sisters are not so near to me because they are younger than me ,me and my mum don’t agree about the same thing and there is no crush to think about ^_^

-the cousin of the one who i like i mean zayn malik ūüėÄ and his sisters said that he doesn’t fast this ramadan i was¬†shocked¬†of course i doubted about this but to know that what you doubt about is true hurts a lot,he puts¬†tattoos ,drink, doesn’t fast to pray,has a girl friend..etc i thought that he would show the people that muslims are not terrorists i hoped this,these days he looks like the people who drink weed i’m so sad and he lost a lot of my respection to him but i’ll still pray for him

-you may think that i’m a¬†bleak person but i share all what i don’t share with anyone to you i mean for the people who don’t read,yup i know that noone reads this but it is a way to express myself

i think a lot of the problems around me are from losing my confidence..i really wanna get this back..someday i’ll (a word which i always tell to myself)

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olympics this year are special for me..it is the first time to see them,i think that i’m maturing ūüėÄ this is not pride but i really notice this

i was extremely amazed when i saw the opening ceremony , as usual my fiction started to imagine if that ceremony was in my dear country Egypt ..LOL

the scene…now the ceremony is in egypt ūüėÄ

at the beginning everyone is late,may be because of traffics may be because the lights went off (the daily hour of cutting the electricity )or may be because being late is one of our traditions that we can’t live without so we have to show the¬†foreign one of our immortal traditions

most of the girls are not here..they are kidnapped

an egyptian guy telling his friends:the country which we don’t like, we will throw rocks over its team

the songs which were played during the countries line are changed into our lovely popular songs ūüėÄ imagine this (from the english singers and bands to the egyptian ones ūüėÄ )

and what if that performance that showed¬†England’s civilization is changed to the popular beloved¬†¬†Penknives dance ^_^ the reasons : it is popular ūüėÄ and we haven’t got civilizations to show for 5000 years i think (yeah i mean since building the pyramids )

now it is the most important moment: attention please it is mr morsi who is talking.he is now saying the the constitutional oath which he said more than 3 times  in more than 3 different places then he opens his jacket showing that he is not wearing lead protective

i was about to forget the ceremony commenters, yes i mean the woman and the guy who were telling us the names of the countries in english and french

of course here the situation is different: mr okasha and may be miss hayat aldardiry and also mr spider asked for commenting ..but they were refused i don’t really know why ūüėÄ ..a¬†broadcaster from the¬†governmental tv channel is commenting ūüėÄ okasha ,miss hayat and mr¬†¬†spider are on their foolish channel that is only seen to laugh,they say that the¬†Olympics¬†in egypt are a part of the¬†Zionist plan

have you heard the screaming of the people when they saw their country’s team ? now they are changed into egyptian¬†trills

and from mr morsi’s plan to make egypt clean so he told us that after the show we will clean the stadium

aww i saw queen elizabeth,the egyptian copy from her is miss fayza abulnaga so queen elizabeth’s place now is for miss abulnaga

i was about to forget ..around the seats of the stadium there are a lot of¬†Street vendors and i think that they are even more than the¬†attendance and every minute i hear a voice of someone saying i’m stolen “there are a lot of theives who ¬†climbed the fences )

can i go on ? i’m not mocking my dear country but from my sadness about my country i said this..can we really one day¬†receive¬†the olympics by such amazing things..in this blog i¬†changed the events around me to events in my fiction..”an event included all the events around me ”

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My Demetria

They think that i’m extremely mad about her …so what is new?

but what they don’t know is that she makes me forget all my world..her voice and inspiring songs make me feel that i breath

who is she ? she is ¬†Demi lovato,she didn’t save my life like the other girls because i don’t believe in cutting ..any problem can be solved plus cutting is forbidden in my religion even if it wasn’t forbidden i wouldn’t cut myself for any reason ,i like her songs and i like that she is anti bullying because i was bullied like her for the same reason when i was young and i’m still but not like before,i also like that she saves lives ..there is something which attracts me to her

i sometimes don’t like things ¬†she does,like her style which doesn’t show her real age ,but she changed a lot of things in my life ,facing a lot of hard situations which needed me to cry ¬†without crying wouldn’t be easy without her inspiring words “stay strong” ..i’m still a big fan of her and one of my dreams is meeting her i hope that it comes true

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One of the things that really annoy me is the racism..racism in colour,religion,body etc

i was exposed to bad situations because of the racism because of my weight but a real racism i mean when someone is really anti you i haven’t been exposed to such situations until 2 days ago,in twitter i found an account which is anti islam (my religion) it insulted islam,prophet mohamed even allah

i tweeted them a tweet which is “tell me your reasons of being against islam”

minutes after that tweet the owner replied that it is a religion of old things then some other people replied that they are ex-muslims and they hated the way of islam and that now they are so happy

i preferred not discussing because it would be useless i just replied ” one day you will know that we are the best “(i meant the¬†Doomsday)¬†but i can reply here even if i know that noone will read this

islam is a religion of old things ? are the modern things in being naked, not caring about anything,being drunk,having girlfriends and doing sins

allah ordered girls to wear hijab to save them and our clothes are so modern but they cover our bodies,being drunk is forbidden because this may lead you to do a lot of sins and they even make you look bad as you walk right and left moving like a swing,about having girlfriends..a lot of muslims have girlfriends but they don’t touch them ,girls are allowed to deal with boys but with respect

aww i was about to forget,one of those people told me that islam invites to¬†terrorism and jihad..before when muslims went to the countries for war as some people¬†cosider it,that was for setting the people free because they were occupied as in Egypt,when amr ebn alass came here with the islamic army that was for setting the egyptians free from romans and when he won he didn’t force anyone to be a muslim and he left their worship places safe..and about 11¬†September events which changed the world’s look to muslims ,most of us don’t cosider those¬†terrorist belong to islam and btw terrorists can belong to any religion not only islam

Racism is one of the things that have to be stopped,we all have really to respect each others,even in my religion prophet mohamed said when the god-less people in mecca insulted him “you have your own religion and i have mine “